When I know as a fact that someone is lying, I feel so awful that although there is a sudden impulse to confront her by presenting the facts, yet I feel not to embarrass her. May be I find it cute that she is lying, trying to hide something or, knowing that she is wrong trying to avoid the guilty by lying. Or may be I know that no matter what I say, she will keep lying. For instance, one of my friends was suppose to meet me, but he didn’t. I saw him in a bus going towards where his girlfriend lives. Perhaps he thought of visiting her instead of me. Fare enough, he could have told me. Yet he lied to me saying he was at home busy doing his “general priorities”. And he updated his status that he was busy at home. Little bit over smart. This is a fictional example though. But things like this is very common now. So it’s part of life. But what is irritating is when someone pretending as if she/he cares, yet in reality they consider you far lesser than their “general priorities”.
I know everything in life is conditional. There is nothing that comes unconditional and free. But I thought love is unconditional. There is no “if”. Yet, little that I knew, it comes with strings attached too. “if” is a common word. From “if you reply I reply” to “if you have a job, car, house etc, I love you” these phrases make me sick. Although I was blessed to meet one of my friends who has no “if” in her love towards my childhood friend, people like that are rare. Except for the love that is undeniably unconditional, which is the love of a mother, unconditional love is something that is limited to Bollywood movies I suppose.
I was so annoyed by continuous noise of the honking horns of these vehicles for more than 4 hours in the middle of the night. For the passengers it might be a real thrill to keep honking, as if they are to declare who’s superior, but for the people in the neighborhood it was a bitter experience. I know most of these people are celebrating their respective festivals but unfortunately it has come at a cost. I hope people learn to be more responsible. Try not to be uneducated fools. After all, your freedom ends at the tip of my nose.
I have always being honest. I have always spoken my mind. People that have nothing to hide, or fake, like that. So they stick around. But I have also lost many as well. Only those that never meant to be around me. Some people say they like me being honest and communicating straight. Yet they cannot handle it. They want to listen to lies. Little white lies that make them happy. But I cannot lie. Neither I can fake. So I lose them. If I still want them around me I try being silent. But I still lose them. Those that are not meant to be around me.
I have always been a quite a fan of Katy Perry, the California born singer plus song writer and actress. Apart from her beauty (as she is seen on screen) I always liked her unique voice. She is a talented singer who has been nominated for 8 Grammy Awards, and has been the only artist to be in the top ten of the Billboard Top 100 for more than 52 consecutive weeks. I guess I don’t need to give this introduction to her and I’m sure many of you know that she is an outstanding singer of our time. This post is not just about her actually, but also about her song, “Wide Awake” which I found fascinating. It caught my eyes when I was browsing through some of the videos on my iPad app called “Frequency” which delivered high resolution (1080p) videos to my iPad. At first, I was keen on listening to her voice, and the melody of the song, not necessarily the lyrics (it always come second to me). So I was sold at the first instant since the music, video and her singing was just brilliant. Next I looked into the lyrics more closely and found that to be so close to what we experience in our lives. When I listen to this song it takes me through a journey of my own experience. Hence I decided that this song deserves a place on my Blog (not that its so honourably Lol).
(Please ignore the Advertisements: These days nothing seems to be working without them)
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I’m wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong
I’m wide awake
And now it’s clear to me
That everything you see
Ain’t always what it seems
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
[Pre-Chorus]
I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete
[Chorus]
Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight
(Yeah I’m) Falling from cloud 9
I’m wide awake
Not losing any sleep
I picked up every piece
And landed on my feet
I’m wide awake
Need nothing to complete myself – nooohooo
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I am born again
Outta the lion’s den
I don’t have to pretend
And it’s too late
The story’s over now, the end
[Pre-Chorus]
I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete
[Chorus]
Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight (yeah, I’m letting go)
I’m Falling from cloud 9
Thunder rumbling
Castles crumbling
I am trying to hold on
God knows that I tried
Seeing the bright side
But I’m not blind anymore…
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
[Chorus]
Yeah, I’m Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
You know I’m letting go tonight
I’m Falling from cloud 9
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Unlike a decade a go, nowadays feelings and thoughts are widely expressed and spoken of. People don’t have to find someone who would listen to them. Thanks to the popular media such as internet, which hosts various social networking sites and blogs, and mobile telecommunication technologies, people express their feelings more frequently and freely. When you look at them, you might think that there is so much going on in people’s lives now. But these complexities were already there from the beginning. The only difference is that expression was limited. However it doesn’t necessarily say anything about the quality of these expression. Whatever post in the media is subject to own interpretations. Yet some would argue that it would bring more open discussion compared to old one-to-one system. As the number of perspectives would be limited if you share your expressions with just one in person whereas it can be millions in social media. However, we share our feelings on social media. Yet how many of us can actually express true feelings over such media with limited number of words? And without seeing most of the non-verbal emotions, without listening to the depth of the voice, how can we draw conclusions on what we see on, for instant, Facebook status? Yes, there are smily faces and emotion icons but who are we kidding? You can read a lot by looking into someone’s eyes, sometimes without saying a word. Social media to express feelings, therefore, is ineffective.
However I must note that, if you simply need to get over your feelings, or just wanted to clear your head, social media is probably a very effective tool. You are likely to get attention you need, which might help you to get over your feelings. Although I don’t think you should rely on it too much. An intervention from a few best friends would be thousand times better than millions of “likes”.
Once I saw this quote on Facebook which has been shared by a friend of mine as a wall post. It got me thinking because the words have a meaning.
“If someone needs to leave you, there is no point of asking reasons. Why?Because for a need, thousands of reasons can be created”
This holds true in many occasions, from the student leaving a classroom early, to giving up a relationship with your family. If there is no need involved, then we humans will create one too. But then again, there is a reason why we call it a “need”. Because it is essential for our survival. Does it means that if someone needs to leave you that is because it is essential for their survival?
In my country there is a saying which means that there is no point in playing drums after the parade is gone. I have seen how people are trying to make it up to people who they have hurt. But what’s the point of doing so when they can so dearly chose not to hurt them in the first place. We are not so perfect after all so we hurt each others. What count is the fact that you try to correct it.I believe every man and woman has a choice. They choose to hurt others, just like they choose to make them happy. Some of us choose to ignore, once we hurt others. And some even carefully orchestrate it. Even if I don’t call you a bitch someone else will. I remember reading a paper by Watts and Zimmerman (1983), who said everyone is self-centred. Everything they talk, and do evolves around this idea, opportunism. The world seems a sick place when I constantly think about it, experience it. Perhaps I’m an utopian. Or a complete fool who has had enough! Maybe it all goes down to the survival of the fittest. The law of nature.
When life gets complicated and difficult, you often don’t see the life itself. It is just right in front of you. But still, you choose to ignore it, or just don’t see it. Because you always think there’s more to it than what you have.
On my way home from the university, one day, I saw a banner posted on the side of a religious bookshop. It read, “Everyone has a purpose. Remember yours”. I don’t know what this banner intend to communicate to the passing by. However, when I had another look at it, a thought crossed my mind. What is my purpose? My brain must be processing millions of ideas but I couldn’t figure out what my purpose is. Perhaps it’s not that complicated.But still, my mind keep busy searching for an answer.
Junkyard 